Table of Contents

Welcome to this week’s issue of Issue!, the on-line magazine for e-ntellectuals and the culturally curious. Inside: W.S Boldstroke considers Antoni Gaudi – genius, madman or Spaniard? Claims W.S.B, “Gaudi was born in 1852 and died… some time later leaving behind a few notable buildings, the melting-looking ones, but his greatest achievement was a truly outstanding signature.”

Susanna Scott’s new play ‘Doris Day’s Journey Into Night’ is part of the Royal Shakespeare Company’s new blonde hair-themed season. But is Doris’s Journey the real thing? A peroxide concoction or something more substantial, true to its roots in follicular theatre? Our critic’s verdict will surprise and delight (or delight and surprise, depending on which hemisphere one reads it in).

Timothy Miaow reviews the life of ARVN adviser John Paul Vann and finds it desperately wanting. “I also didn’t much care for Robert McNamara, LBJ or Ho Chi Minh,” he adds. “Ellsberg, too. All the pre-eminent figures of Vietnam war, actually.”

After listening to a new recording by the Brazilian heavy metal group Sepultura, music critic Alistair Birch had to be hospitalised. Part VII of his ordeal this week.

In Comment and Analysis Katharine Kruger-Rand looks at the practice of intellectuals referring to themselves as ‘intellectuals’ and why Camille Paglia cannot shut up about Madonna. Noam Chomsky is grilled about whether or not that is his real name. Marshall McLuhan answers the question, after all this time and so much good work, shouldn’t he be promoted to General McLuhan?

Daniel Ellsberg reviews Tim Miaow’s review of John Paul Vann’s life and posits the notion that Miaow is, perhaps, an idiot. Watch the sparks fly!

Simon Schama’s ‘The History of Everything’, Peter Ackroyd’s ‘Mariah Carey: A Life’ and Michael Crichton’s ‘Paperback!’ are all short-listed for The New York Times’ length award. Number of pages and the weight of each book is considered by 1998 finalist Don DeLillo.

“I remain confident that had Boswell traveled more often in a brougham rather than the hackney he preferred he might well have lived several years more. Boswell was such an obstinate man. By the way, I saw Castaway last night – it blew. Regards, E.D.” Such was the tone of the correspondence between Emily Dickinson and Tom Hanks, examined for spelling errors, possible double meanings and shortfalls in postage by staff mailboy Ruben Dandridge. Kindly stop and read this fascinating piece.

We feature an exclusive extract from ‘Umbrellas and Me: My Fear of Drizzle’, a compelling new memoir by Pablo Fang recalling his time as the world’s most soluble man. Profoundly moving material that speaks to the Aspro Clear in all of us.

Clive James reviews the recent publication ‘Essays About Clive James By Clive James’ with results that surprised even him (Clive James).

In his regular thought piece, Inter alia, Professor Anthony Kitchener looks at Norway and asks the question, was it worth it? Professor Kitchener also addresses the issue: Dr Seuss, Dr Pepper and Dr J of the Harlem Globetrotters – Were any of them licensed to practise medicine?

Hornby de la Mare contributes a thoughtful and penetrating analysis of the bag of onions which has been sitting on his kitchen table for the past fortnight. “At times it reminded me of what it might be like to watch Twiggy wrestling with a pre-Camelot Jackie Bouvier,” he says. “Somewhere in Cincinatti.” The onions, it should be noted before reading, are not purple, Southport Whites or spring – they are brown.

U.N secretary-general Kofi Annan is this week’s guest in our ‘Q & A’ section – find out which Spice Girl he’d most like negotiate with. It makes spicy reading, in a very literal, obvious sense.

For a touch of humor, turn to ‘The Humor Page’ where Bob Dylan contributes a wry yet humorous piece about sickle cell anaemia. (And yes, since you’re no doubt wondering, it is the Bob Dylan – associate director of the Cognitive Sciences department at Yale, and recipient of last year’s Jean Hargoupian prize for Comedic Whimsy – not the other one.)

Libertas et natale solum. So Anna Catford-Frye remarks in ‘Purloined letters’, her splenetic and controversial piece, much of it in Latin and Greek, on contemporary literary plagiarism. The results are bound to confuse and irritate. Finally, Enkei’s latest range of mag wheels is reviewed both at length and by accident by our cultural commentator Miles Brandt.

All that and very little else in this week’s issue of Issue! Watch out for next week’s issue in which Arianna Huffington reviews last week’s issue and several ex-husbands!